Ever feel you've missed a turn somewhere? I'm speaking metaphorically here - you shouldn't be reading/searching the internet while driving... if you do, I'm not going to be held responsible & you should feel lucky you've only missed a turn & not suddenly found yourself in the middle of a giant fireball.
I try to live my life to the fullest. No regrets and all that. Which is great & works 99% of the time. I try not to let anything get me down, try not to care too much about anything so as to avoid stress etc. You know - all that crap they teach you in kindergarten/kids shows. Believe in yourself... be positive... Trust your abilities.. blah blah blah.
My biggest inspiration for the "relentless positivity" method is Day9 (Sean Plott). He's a StarCraft player & does a daily show that looks at the different strategies in the game as well as giving some hilarious tales from his life. The one thing that really stuck with me was his positive attitude towards almost everything. It didn't mean he was always happy... but he didn't let emotions stand in his way. They are, after all, just chemicals... and sometimes they can be scary, but you just have to let them do their thing. It'll pass eventually, don't try to fight it, don't look too deep/overthink things, just ride the wave & it'll be over soon.
However, every now & again, I can't help but just go through a state of "did I miss something?" or "Where am I really heading?" It's not even a conscious thing. I'll just wake up feeling MEH and then an hour or so later the thought pops into my head. (Generally, this is when I'll sit down & watch the daily - or an old video of his.. just try to keep my mind off things. It helps.)
I don't regret one action I've ever made in my life. All decisions were made by myself & I was of sound mind when I made them - so I have no one to blame but myself.
Am I alone in this feeling?
Don't misunderstand this post. I'm not looking for sympathy, or attention. I'm not missing home. I am just getting my thoughts out there so as I can look back later & go - oh, look how far I've come. Putting it out there, so perhaps other people realise they aren't the only one going through it (??? I don't know)
Some of my friends are married, or engaged, or have started families. They are the same age as me. I don't have any of these things. I'm sure many of them are progressing their careers, or buying a new house/car. Again.. I'm not really doing any of these.
Instead, I've spent the last few years of my life saving as much money as I can to get out of Australia. See the world. Learn about different cultures. Experience as much as I can before settling down... but no one knows for sure what the future holds. I may not ever settle down. I'll get to be the cool aunt who rocks up a few times a year with presents & crazy stories about my overseas adventures.
Perhaps I'll end up combining my love of travel with some sort of job (though I don't know how I would go about that)... to be fair I haven't really looked that hard into that side of things.
It's impossible to do EVERYTHING in life... and that bugs me.
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